I do want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this opportunity to see shining types of the teachings of a course in miracles acim, and fo initially in a lengthy while, I don’t feel alone.
Part of me wanted to keep longer, but beneath that desire was the idea that I could be doing this for the wrong reason; as an easy way to prevent my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I’d had any insights. What I’m about to generally share was not yet clear during those times; only on the drive away made it happen coalesce.
That morning, several lines from the Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never must have told you, never must have let you see inside. Don’t want it troubling the mind, won’t you let it be?” This confused me as I possibly could not consider something that I’d said that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that probably the most prominent fear I’d in coming to the Monastery was that I would somehow interfere using its residents’peace of mind, simply by my presence alone. This belief that I possibly could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for quite some time, and has colored many of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness immediately after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of is own videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel like the belief is being (has been?) released.
There are other items that happened that felt important, but I can’t consider them right now.