I wish to ask you in what A Course in Miracles means by Holy Relationship. In a single area of the book it covers “entering the ark” together, and it almost sounds like you’ll need one other specific person to be able to awaken. Therefore, I believe I approach each new person with the expectation that maybe THIS could be the partnership that reflects enlightenment in my experience, and I in their mind! Am I taking this too literally? Or do you really have to have another to help you awaken?

I appreciate your own time so much and thank you for the help in my experience and others. I thank you and I thank God for you. Namaste.

David Hoffmeister: Thanks for the openness and your willingness to check deeply at what’s underneath these topics and issues teacher of teachers. A Course in Miracles teaches that the split mind contains both the problem (the ego) and the Solution (the Holy Spirit). When they are brought together, only One remains.

The body and the world are usually the focus of ego’s perspective, because of it seeks to make real problems and struggles on earth and to prevent the inner Healing Correction of the Holy Spirit. The ego’s distorted world is the item of identity confusion, an outpicturing of the belief it is possible to make an identity which God did not create. The ego is this identity problem and it had been Answered or forgiven by the Holy Spirit the instant it did actually arise. This 1 problem could be described being an authority problem or a confusion in who is the author of Reality. Your brain that believes in the truth of the time-space cosmos has a control issue, because of it believes that it can produce itself. This ego mind also thinks it is in competition with God, although this is pushed out of conscious awareness. This unconscious ego thought system is exposed in the A Course in Miracles Workbook lessons, and Lesson 13 contains a fantastic example of this unveiling:

“A meaningless world engenders fear because I believe I am in competition with God.”

That is the beginning of training the mind to forgive, for the focus is cut back to the mind, back once again to thinking, and removed from your body and the world. Anorexia, weight issues, body image issues, and interpersonal relationship issues are examples of projection, of seeing the problem where it is not: in the world. Your brain cannot tolerate the belief in a war with God, which means this belief is pushed out of awareness. The deep-seated control issue this type of belief entails is then projected to your body and the world. Weight control, like any attempt to regulate the script or your body, is an attempt to regulate the past. The Holy Spirit teaches that yesteryear can only just be forgiven or released or regarded as false—not fixed or controlled or changed.

The same ego dynamic is underneath interpersonal relationship struggles of power and control, of wanting to repair or change a person or a self-image. Personal relationships might appear to sail happily along for awhile, yet the make-believe self-concept IS the personal perspective and thus is definitely on shaky ground. Decisions are continuous. The Holy Spirit is really a decision. The ego is really a decision. Atonement is the decision that ends all decisions, an acceptance of the changelessness of Mind. The ego is the decision to trust that the mind could be separate from God. Once the mind believed that it had separated and built this time-space world, this time-space world of bodies became its substitute identity, since it believed it had thrown away the Kingdom of Heaven. The entire world was created up as an alternative identity. The sleeping mind is split on the decision of identity. The Holy Spirit says, “This world is not Identity. This world is definitely an illusion.” And thus the Holy Spirit reminds the mind constantly, “This world is not your Home. This world is not your Identity. This world is not real.” As the mind is split it is hearing another voice (the ego) that’s saying: “You’ve done it. You’ve separated from God. You’d better make the most effective of it and find something of the world to spot with. You are able to never return for God will punish you.”

Thought-form associations seem to become a substitute identity. The ego mind is apparently identified with your body, with family, with environments that appear to surround it (i.e., I’m an American, Japanese, I’m male, I’m female, I’m from a rich family, from an unhealthy family, I’m Catholic, Jewish, Protestant, etc.) All of these are thought-form associations. And these seeming other persons and places surrounding the little personal self are part of this construction. Your brain is extremely shaky about this small identity, this small self, this little me. So the little me is shaky, and it seems like other persons give the little me reality and importance (i.e., you’re my son, my daughter, you’re my boss, you’re a loving father, etc.) and all the various items that these images be seemingly telling this little me be seemingly really important. Praise thus seems essential (i.e., you’re a person and you’re a great one!).

Praise and acceptance from others SEEM to stabilize this very shaky thing (i.e., you’re a great lover, you’re a great provider, you’re great with the children, you have a superb intellect, you have this type of heart, you help serve so many other folks, you’re a great team-player, on and on). This aspect of the self-concept says that you are a person and you have many of these positive attributes that really make you a valuable and worthy person, that produce you stand out above the crowd. You’re not merely anyone—you’re somebody special. The flip side is criticism, which directly reflects the shaky sense of self. Criticism will be: you’re much less great as you think you’re, you’re not this type of good team player, this type of good provider, so good in bed—all the things which are taken as insults to the personal self-concept). That’s the flip side of the strokes. To this ego self-concept that believes both sides (the positive and negative) of thinking are real, the Holy Spirit is perceived as a great threat, for the Holy Spirit contributes to the knowledge of forgiveness or the realization that none of the tiny images perceived as separate have any reality.

Once the criticism seems ahead, the ego attempts a substitution. It thinks, “I don’t need this. I’ll go elsewhere and start other relationships with people who will appreciate my talents and skills and abilities, appreciate my personhood. I will avoid those negative influences on earth and those negative people. I’ll find someone else or join friends where people are like-minded and forget about the remaining world. These new people will like me and stroke me and praise me.” The attempt at substitution is an attempt to maintain a sense of specialness, a sense of separation, a sense of individuality (a private mind with private thoughts). Those attempts are special love relationships. They seem to reinforce worth and value and to validate personhood. And they provide a false witness for clinging to the ego as identity. To the ego, past associations serve to give personhood some sense of stability and consistency and value. Yet, the Holy Spirit suggests that past associations offer nothing of value, for they were produced by the ego to deny the reality of God’s Love.

Holy relationship emphasizes and reflects Content (right-minded thinking) and comes with an awareness of the meaninglessness of form. As the ego’s believed relationships will be seemingly specific, yet each one will present a way to release the belief in specifics. Divine Mind is Abstract and Universal. Forgiveness could be the bridge to the remembrance of Christ and God, Divine Abstraction. Thus the Holy Spirit teaches in A Course in Miracles:

“Whenever you meet anyone, remember it is really a holy encounter. As you see him you will dsicover yourself. As you treat him you’ll treat yourself. As you think of him you’ll think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will discover yourself or lose yourself. Whenever two Sons of God meet, they are given another chance at salvation. Don’t leave anyone without giving salvation to him and receiving it yourself. For I am always there with you, in remembrance of you.

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